we are both in our mid twenties
my bf has had an exciting sex life I guess you could say. from what i’ve heard from him and his friends, he was quite adventurous. ranging from bsdm to threesomes. I on the other hand have only had a couple of sexual partners. I really want to try the exciting stuff with him but whenever I bring it up he says that we do. He claims we have kinky sex just because we don’t stay in missionary. To me, kinky sex invokes props and bondage, stuff he’s done in the past. He owns the stuff but I guess it never finds its way out of the drawer during sexy time.
In the beginning of our relationship he also said he enjoys giving head. He attempted to give me head about twice and bc i’m shy I turned him down. About a couple months ago I told him I trust him and that i’m ready but only after i’ve had a shower. He still hasn’t attempted to give me any head. I have asked him why and he said bc I said only after i’ve had a shower it feels forced. Atp i’ve accepted that i’m never going to receive head from him.
I’m starting to take it personally that he’s willing to have kinky sex with other women and not me. It’s effecting our sex life, I’m not orgasming during sex anymore bc of this. I usually can only get off by rubbing myself during p in v but it’s starting not to feel like anything anymore. I would love head but now i’m starting to feel like i’m not pretty enough down there and that’s why he won’t eat me out. Maybe i’m not pretty enough in general. I’ve tried communicating but it’s like i’m not receiving any sort of actual answer. What do I do?
wanted to add that we have a beautiful and healthy relationship. this is the only problem we are facing.