My boyfriend has been cheated on in past relationships, as have I, and lm pretty sure social media played a role. He seems to have a particular dislike for Snapchat. Our relationship is fairly new, and I know building trust takes time, so I understand nervousness about it to an extent. I like using snap and insta, it consists of people I’ve friended since middle school on both platforms, but I only ever talk or DM my close friends, all of which are girls. I don’t think it’s wrong to post a picture of myself that I like, and I know I do it because I want to, not for male attention.
Every time he’s started an argument has been when he’s had a couple drinks, and all these thoughts and insecurities come pouring out all at once. He’s told me at times that it bothers him, but in these arguments he really reveals his true, intense dislike and distrust of social media usage. I typically end up crying, and he has borderline accused me of cheating or keeping guys as “friends” for backup when I’m “done with him”. I’m left feeling helpless trying to defend myself and trying to reassure him that I only want him. It’s so hurtful to be accused like that or berated for something as simple as having someone of the opposite sex follow my Instagram. I don’t think it’s a fair expectation to go through and unfollow all guys simply because he has a fear of cheating. Insecurity is normal, we all experience it and it would be unfair to expect him to never feel insecure about some things, but trust is important too, and to expect that from me shows he doesn’t trust me.
Does anyone have advice on what I should do or how I should approach the situation? I don’t know what a realistic response or action should be, I really like him and want to be with him.