I [27M] have been in a relationship with my partner [25F] for a little over 2 years. We live separately but see each other several times a week. Overall, she is caring, loyal, and genuinely wants this relationship to work.
The issue is that over the last 6–8 months, I’ve started feeling emotionally drained. She relies on me heavily for reassurance, decision-making, and emotional support. If she’s stressed, anxious, or upset, I’m usually the first and sometimes only person she turns to. I want to support her, but I’m starting to feel like I don’t have space to process my own emotions.
I’ve noticed that when I’m quiet or need time alone, she assumes something is wrong or that I’m upset with her. This leads to long conversations where I end up reassuring her, even when I was just tired or overwhelmed. I’ve tried gently explaining that I need downtime, but it doesn’t seem to stick, and the pattern repeats.
I don’t think she’s doing this intentionally or manipulatively. I think she’s insecure and afraid of losing the relationship. At the same time, I’m starting to feel resentful and guilty for wanting emotional space, which worries me.
I care about her and don’t want to hurt her, but I’m also concerned that if this continues, I’ll burn out or emotionally check out of the relationship.
Question / Advice Requested:
How can I clearly communicate my need for emotional space and boundaries without making her feel rejected or abandoned, and how do I tell if this is something we can realistically work through?
Length of Relationship:
2 years
TL;DR:
I love my girlfriend, but her emotional dependence is leaving me drained. I need advice on how to set healthy emotional boundaries without damaging the relationship.