Hello sorry in advance if I’m not doing it right it’s my first ever post on Reddit and English is not my first language.
So I (28 M) have been with my girlfriend (26F) for a little less than I year now. We’ve met through a dating app and things have been going great so far. We are often talk about touchy subject like infidelity, kids, money… and are very transparent about our past relationships and experiences.
Among one of those talks she mentioned having been part of someone else cheating before. She was not the one cheating but was someone else side piece. She in the beginning didn’t know that person was in a relationship but at some point she found out but still kept having relations with him. She said it was nothing serious, just casual sex. This was something she did when she was younger between 16-18yo. She acknowledged that what she did was wrong but still passes it off as being young and immature.
This is not the only time she kind of “crossed the line” before as she told me about a time where she often used to sleep with someone who was in a relationship that was in love with her. She told me they only slept in the same bed together, cuddled but nothing more. No sex nor kissing. The part that kind of worries me is that when that guy girlfriend knew about it and confronted her she made it seem like the girl was crazy for being jealous of their relationship.
All of those experiences were in her youth.
We have had talks about cheating and said she never cheated before and have no tolerance with cheaters. She said she would stop being friends with people who cheated on their partners.
She also often go out with friends that tried to hit on her in the past (years before) but she was never interested in them and refused their advances but kept being friends with them. I have met them and seems ok but they are all for the most part still celibate and from the stories she told me about them and their relationship they are not the best people. Mainly horny guys who would do anything just to get laid…(well not really anything, not bad stuff they are not bad people) they just don’t have a lot of ethics.
It’s now been almost a year that we’ve been together and I don’t think I can 100% trust her. Which leads me to having doubts about our relationship. I did tried having some talks with her about hypotheticals and what she would do on this or that situation and a lot of the time we disagree. I’m not sure if I should talk to her about me having trust issues about her, for fear of hurting her feelings and making her feel bad about the things she told me in trust.
I ultimately know that those trust issues are from me and it’s for me to work on but I still do feel those are legitimate considering her past. That being said she has never crossed the line in our relationship so I also feel that it’s kind of unfair that I have doubt about her and her past that she cannot change.
Any advice ? How can I talk to her about this without hurting her feelings ? Thanks in advance and sorry again for my broken English.