Hi all.
As the title says I’m in a real pickle. My ex and I broke up in September 2024. The relationship was about 2 years long and to be honest, it was not a healthy one. At the end I remember feeling discarded, miserable and wanting out but too scared to do it. We haven’t spoken in over a year now despite her living close. I did see her like 4 months after the breakup and she was pretty nasty to me but I think it was because she was hurt by the whole thing. I asked her could we get back together, she said no and that nothing would change. That hurt but I tried to move on. I seen her again like 3 months later and she was so much kinder and asking me questions and stuff and I took that as a win but now, I just still have the urge to reach out and just get closure at least. She broke up with me over the phone eve though we seen eachother that night. I then went to her house after telling her no let’s do it right, which lead to sex and then I left and thought it best to block her. I have so many memories of being unhappy with her but she was my first one and since then no one has felt like her. I feel like reaching out is the only option but I also know that’s likely to make things worse. Any suggestions?