30yo here and have been married for 6 years. I apologize ahead of time for the long post and thank you for reading
For a long time my wife and I have shared our locations on find my friends. She started to abuse this by constantly checking this and would throw a question like “what did you do today? Where have you been?” And would try to catch me in a lie. I would joke that it bothered me but also was afraid to come across as not trustworthy and I didn’t have anything to hide so I just let it be.
As time went on I would get random notifications that another device logged into my email. When I checked the devices I found out it was her. When I confronted her about this and how it bugged me I told her you are free to go through anything of mine but just ask me. I then changed my email password and went on. Some time later I found my email back on my phone this upset me so I told her, she apologized then got off. I changed all my passwords and continued on. Fast forward some time and I was on her phone looking up something (I always ask her permission) and I found my emails yet again but this time on her safari. I have set up two factor authentication but think she may be grabbing my phone to get the code when I am not looking. With her in my email this has ruined Christmas surprises, vacation surprises, etc.
Ever since we got married I added her to my bank account. I made substantially more than her but she liked to feel like she was contributing so she kept working. We also had no kids at the time so why not. She for the longest time would shop like crazy then comment for every little thing I bought myself. Now we have 1 3 yo and 1 kid on the way. For the past 3 years she works very part time out of our house and brings in about $500 a month. I always tell her she doesn’t need to work as I have been fortunate enough to have a very good job and have been well off. Still to this day she has been much better but will make comments on what I purchase and not say anything bad but just will make it know that she knows and leave it at that which makes me feel like I can’t buy anything and have her support.
Stay with me here on this one I have never been a big gamer. Work is crazy life is crazy and I just have too much ADD to sit and play by myself. Every-once in awhile maybe every other year a new big game will come out and lots of friends will get it. I go through little phases where I like to get on and play with them for a few months and then I get bored and store the x box away for a year or two to collect dust. I have a hobby addiction and always need to be challenged so when winter comes and we can’t be outside it’s fun to pick this up, play with friends, and try to go from sucking again to good. My wife HATES the Xbox with a passion. I try to figure out why and she says it’s loserish and so unattractive. I agree with this when it’s dads who take family time away and ignore kids but I go through phases and have strict rules. I will never play when my son is awake and I try to limit myself to two nights a week. This has caused a massive strain in our relationship but honestly I am not sure what the problem is. Almost a year ago I switched jobs to working remotely. I work my tell off and get to spoil my family with living a good life and life style. Since I am in this phase when my emails are done, meeting are over, and I have a break sometimes I will play a game then hop off. When she found out I did this she lost it even though she’s now 100% stay at home and money comes in every month. She really had an opinion how I spend my day at work. Recently she found a way to log into my Xbox app and recorded when and how long I played through the work day then challenged me to see if I would tell the truth and then just called me a loser and called me addicted. I am not sure how I could be addicted when I’ll go years without touching it. I am in sales and if you know how that goes you always need something to help breakup your day.
I feel like every aspect of my life is being watched, tracked, and challenged for no apparent reason. I have never retaliated and done it back to her. I try to stay understanding but just feel a massive violation of trust. I also woke up to her sneaking over to my nightstand the other night stealing my phone and going through it in the middle of the night. When I asked her about this she said she was worried since she freaked out on me that I was talking bad about her to my friends.
Again sorry for the long post and how scatterbrained this is. I kind of just typed my thoughts and didn’t proof it.