I really need outside opinions because my brain is not letting this go.
Some context first. I knew this guy back in college. We were in the same environment but never really spoke. No past, no tension, nothing. Recently, we ran into each other at a New Year’s party and actually talked properly for the first time.
We were both drinking. I was a bit more drunk than him, but I was still aware of what was happening. We talked for hours, danced together, and the chemistry was genuinely unreal. I know people say that a lot, but this felt different. Easy conversation, flirting, comfort, and this very obvious mutual pull. I’ve honestly never felt chemistry like that with anyone before.
At one point, we were dancing just the two of us. We were very close, and it was extremely clear that it was going to lead to making out or something more. Right before it happened, I stopped him and asked something like, “What’s going on here?” and he said, “Whatever you want it to be.”
He wasn’t pushy at all. He was actually incredibly respectful. Even when I kept overthinking and reasoning things out, he kept saying things like, “We’ll figure it out.” It felt safe, mutual, and intentional, even in a drunk setting.
And still, I stopped it.
Not because I didn’t want to. I really did. But a few things were running through my head. One of his closest friends of around 12 years has liked me for a while, and I didn’t want to come in between that friendship. There’s also distance because he lives in the US and is only here temporarily. And realistically, we don’t actually know each other beyond that night. In that moment, even while slightly drunk, stopping felt like the sensible and right decision.
After that, we talked and texted a little, but now we haven’t really spoken because there’s nothing concrete to build on and he’s leaving soon anyway.
Now it’s been a few days, and I’m kind of losing it.
I don’t even know if I “like” him in a normal sense because I barely know him, but I cannot stop thinking about that night. I’ve never reacted this way to something that lasted a few hours. It feels unfinished and unresolved, and I keep wondering if I made the wrong decision.
What’s messing with me is that I was the one who stopped it. Logically, I still understand why I did. But emotionally, it feels like I shut something down that might have mattered. At the same time, I’m terrified of reaching out and seeming cringe, dramatic, or like I’m spiraling. I also worry about him telling his group and me coming off as someone who’s going crazy over nothing.
But the idea of not saying anything at all also feels awful, especially since he’s leaving soon and then it’s just over forever.
So I’m stuck.
Do I stand by the decision I made and let this be a meaningful moment that didn’t turn into anything? Or do I say something, even lightly, just to acknowledge it or get some closure? How do you tell the difference between real chemistry and a drunk, high-energy moment that your brain is romanticizing?