How did you start an exit plan from an abusive marriage?
I moved to another city for my husband’s work and he has yelled at me for not wanting to go with him to his parents. He also avoids communicating (he told me it would be different when we’d move in together). Right before we got married, he gave me a time frame of when I need a job. Wherever there’s conflict, he brings up if I found a job. I wasn’t eating much at one point because of him behaving this way towards me and I didn’t want to ask him for money anymore. I even told that once because I got extremely thin and he said well, did you find a job?
He “play fights” too rough and I tell him that and he ignores. A few times my neck made a sound he goes to tell me no it didn’t. And a few nights ago, he really hard kicked my back while asleep so she can have more room but my cat sleeps next to me so I need more space. When he did that, I woke up and slept on the couch. He even asked me the next day if I felt him doing that and I said yeah, that’s why I moved to the couch. He said “Yeah, you kept taking up the fucking room.” I’m also really bloated in eating disorder recovery. He hasn’t been supportive about any of that, never asks if I’m okay or need anything. I started my second cycle today after a year of no period cycle due to eating issues and he said what do I want to eat out that he’d order and he ignored what I wanted and he just let me know what he’s getting himself and if I wanted anything from there. I said no but why even ask me where I wanted food from.
He’s extremely cold, he’s been able to sleep and eat while I cried. He finishes a bottle of whiskey within 2 days and he even orders him alcohol through DoorDash yet he complains to me about money for me.
He never says anything nice of any good interactions really now that I think about it. No love or warmth. I told him before by how he’s been behaving that I feel emotionally unsafe with him. He once told me go to my parents house then but he didn’t add more to that. I told him how I feel unseen, unheard, needs unmet. He just ignores.
I saw a psychiatrist and even she asked me why I married him and she’s concerned. I’m waiting to see a therapist end of this month.
I feel miserable and on alert. I feel like an unwanted guest sleeping on couch. I dropped out of community college when I was younger due to funds but also my dad needing a caregiver. I have background in caregiving, dietary aide at nursing home, behavioral tech with youth with learning disabilities. I used to love baking. I thought of becoming a police officer but I was very weak trying to keep up in physical. I did bulid muscle but I am recovery from undereating and weighing low. I live in California. I thought of trades but I’m not good in math. I really need something 🙁 pls just kind words and advice would help