Hey I need some advice
My husband and I have been married for a little over 2 years. His side of the family are kind of bullies, meanwhile I never experienced that in my parents house. It had been bothering the entire time and I always make sure I tell him when he hurts me with his words. His joke are mean and always a test about how I would respond.
At the same time I am growing fed up, I tried everything, talking, shouting, removing myself, I even got to the point of slamming doors and hitting things to get it out. Crying infront of him doesnt work either. And if any of these manage to get some guilt into him he apologizes and the next day its the same.
Today, we got into a disagreement but it was friendly, he wanted me to apologize and I wanted that he apologizes first, in the "no, you!" Playful kind of way. His response to my multiple refusals was to try and put a sock he had worn the entire day into my mouth, i tried fighting him off, but it didnt really work and I got suuuuppr mad like I saw red i started running after him, hitting him, shouting about disrespect. I managed to get some hits in but im not that strong so idk
He stopped, and sat alone and was sad shouting at me to not talk to him. This got me even angrier, i pulled his clothes from the drawers and shouted thst he should leave multiple times..
I know my response could have been better, i dont know what came over me.
He is a wonderful man, a great dad and husband. I love him to bits.
I broke.
I dont know how to fix it
Now the clothes are back neatly in the drawers. And I am thinking about going silent a bit untill my birthday next week. I cant handle the surge of emotions. Leaving is not an option for me, nor do I want it.
I need advice