Hi, for context my husband and I have been married for 3 years and together for 7 years. Before me. He was in a relationship with his ex for 8 years. They come from a small town, she knows his family and still talk to some of them. I never met her. She lost her mother 2 years ago and since then she started to talk to my husband again (before that they stoped talking,my husband told her he was in a new relationship and he will be focusing on that, so they havent talked for years).
The issue is, when she started to talk to him again he didn't tell me about. I found out about it months later. I read all the texts, he never was inappropriate with her but I personally feel she is still into him or something. Most of the time she is asking for advices, my husband replies, but he never really started the conversations. He even told her one time he can't be there for her emotionally because he's married and he can only be there emotionally for his wife. Yet, she still message him about so many random things happening in her life and she wants advice and stuff and never acknowledge the comment he made about being there for her emotionally because he has a wife. For me the fact that my husband put on boundaries and she keeps seeking for his advice makes me think she is still has feelings or I don't know.
It makes me uncomfortable and I told my husband, he has been open with me since then and tells me everything, shows me all the messages. He barely replies now. I didn't ask for him to block her or anything because she was a family friend before they started dating and is still in contact with them. My mother in law even invited her to her house for lunch for her birthday since her mother passed away and she feels bad. Even if it bothers me, I can't control who his mother is friends with and I understand they have a relationship from before me. (However, it's weird that everytime I visit his family with him she's never around, but when my husband goes by himself she always stops at my mother in law shop, where my husband stays all the time)
However, I can't shake the feeling she still has something for me my husband. Last week she messaged him again two times, regarding her little brother, which my husband replies in a long messaged and didn't tell me about it and again a few days after,she said when you have time if we can talk on the phone, I need some advice. He replied tell me what to see if I can help. And she sent a big message saying she has been having weird dreams lately, feeling so down, feeling far away from her faith, something about her mom…. He never replied and told me about it and asked me if I'm ok with him replying…
I feel bad to say to not reply but at the same time I feel like she's too much, she has friends so why can't they help her? And also I feel like it's not my husband place to always be there for her… How should I approach it with my husband?