Hi, I’m (20F) and my boyfriend (26M) and I became official about 4 days ago. I’ve never dated before, so I genuinely don’t know what’s normal and what isn’t, and I could really use some outside perspective.
We’ve been talking for almost 6 months. For most of that time, we talked almost every day when we could, were on call together a lot, and played video games together for hours when we were both free. It felt really consistent and close. Before our most recent date, he told me he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. When the date actually happened, I had to rush at the end and realized he never asked. Later, I called him and jokingly said something like “yo, you forgot something,” and he apologized and then asked. It kind of felt like I made him ask, which I didn’t intend I just didn’t want to keep being led on after 6 months of talking.
Since we became official, though, he’s been a bit distant. We haven’t really spent more than an hour together at a time, and we’re not on call or gaming together nearly as much as before. It’s a noticeable change compared to how things were literally right before we became official.
I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s been going through some stuff mentally, but I can’t tell if this is just my anxiety/obsession kicking in or if he’s genuinely losing interest now that we’re official. Because I’ve never dated before, I don’t know if this kind of shift is normal early on, or if it’s a red flag. I don’t want to overreact, but I also don’t want to ignore something important.
I’m not an idiot but I also want advice on how to tell the difference between overthinking and real distance would really help and I also want advice on what I should do moving forward. I’m obviously going to talk to him but what should I even say?? What do I do about this. Thanks!
TLDR:
My bf and I became official 4 days ago after talking almost daily for 6 months. Since then, he’s been noticeably more distant, and I can’t tell if I’m overthinking because it’s my first relationship or if he’s losing interest. He’s also been struggling mentally, so I’m trying to be understanding, but the sudden change is confusing.