I(19F) have my boyfriend(20M) over rn because we are going to my parents this weekend and plan to leave tomorrow. He was having a bath and I was laying in bed. I have been extremely stressed and masturbate once or twice a week to release steam beyond sex. I got horny while he was in the bath and decided to masturbate but I feel extremely guilty right now because he’s here rn and I could just ask for sex but I rarely get a big O when we have sex, so I just wanted to masturbate to get that. Is this okay or am I being unkind?


28 comments

  2. You’re not being unkind, as long as you’re still sexually receptive to him afterwards

  4. I currently struggle with this with my wife. It’s not unkind but doesn’t feel the best.

  5. As a man, I love that! My partner having a healthy sex drive means there will be more for me too.
    So she should masturbate as much as she wants.

  7. I’d be having the conversation with him and working towards Os for you. Totally cool to play solo but surely he could be giving you a hand as well. Bring your toy into the bedroom.

  9. Honestly I love when I get out of the shower and my wife is sopping wet. I know what happened and it’s hot! 🔥

  11. I myself cannot orgasm with my bf. I have no issue masterbating while he’s at home to get mines.

  12. Totally fine. Where it becomes an issue is when that replaces together intimacy. This doesn’t sound like the case.

    You can feel guilty, but you don’t need to.

    Ps, work on making the big o achievable together

  13. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Unless, you would be offended if he masturbated when you were home.

  14. Masturbate whenever you like and allow yourself to fully enjoy it with no regrets. As a man, I love knowing that the woman I’m with is comfortable with her body and enjoying all aspects of her sex life.

  15. It’s perfectly ok to masturbate in a relationship with or without the partner present. It’s your body and you’re just doing good by you. What worries me a bit is you feeling a sense of responsibility over his own sex drive/sessions. I hope he’s not making you feel guilty for this in previous occasions or something.

  16. I masturbate even though my wife and I have a healthy sex life. Sometimes I just like to finish the day relaxed and go to sleep.

    My wife and I usually have sex every other day unless she’s on her cycle. Sex is more intimate and satisfying; masturbation is just taking care of an urge. I have a high sex drive, but too much sex can leave her sore for days, so I pace myself out of respect for her comfort.

    The line is pretty clear to me: if masturbation were interfering with my ability or desire to have sex with my wife, that would be a problem. At that point it stops being self-care and turns into compulsion or partner neglect.

    Tl:dr taking care of yourself isn’t wrong if it isn’t harming your partner or your relationship. You didn’t deprive him, manipulate him, or withdraw affection so there’s no reason to feel guilty.

  17. Absolutely fine. But you could include him – let him watch. Let him masturbate with you. Use it to teach him how you like it. Learning opportunity!

  19. If I was your boyfriend I would want to watch (with your permission), but I wouldn’t have a problem with it if you communicated the issue of not having a good orgasm while we were together.

  20. Lots of men have no problem with it…if it doesn’t affect your sex life with him I’d say it’s ok no need to feel guilty it’s just stress release

  21. As long as masterbation doesn’t offset your intimacy then I see no issue. Where you run into issues where the difference in orgasm drives this to be your primary way of satisfaction and then your partner get a feeling of rejection.

    I would recommend you work with your partner to show him what gets you off better, weather it be his fingers or just mouth rather then full sex. So you can have a session like that rather then the full show

  22. Seems to me like you’re doing nothing wrong, if he ended up having a problem with it, that would probably be a red flag to me. Maybe also use any conversation about it as an opportunity to discus more of what you need/want out of your sex life, sounds like it’s usually him getting off from sex and not you, that’s not fair at all. Maybe he should start making sure you’re taken care of first before him, even if that means he watches or helps you get off before yall really get going

  23. I think it’s amazing that a woman masturbates.   If you don’t care, do it when he comes into the room, could be a great time for both.

  24. Think of married people or those living together! Do you think they never masterbate anymore? That would be no.

  25. Sure is. My wife will randomly do that about once a day or more. I think it’s healthy and I’m happy she has a great sex drive.

  26. Why not let him masturbate me? It’s not like you always have to have penetrative sex. There’s fingering, cunnilingus… I mean, if my partner’s at home, I’d never touch myself, honestly. Masturbation is more for moments of solitude, right?

  27. Why not let him masturbate me? It’s not like you always have to have penetrative sex. There’s fingering, cunnilingus… I mean, if my partner’s at home, I’d never touch myself, honestly. Masturbation is more for moments of solitude, right?

  28. Bro, my wife kisses her best friend (also f) even in front of me and I love it. Masturbation is nothing wrong.

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