Hi! First, I would like to apologize, English Is not my first language.
I really love my husband, we've been married for almost two years and he is and he is hardworking, kind and honest person. But he had traumatic childhood (think divorced parents, alcoholism, beating, evil step-parent…) and still strugles with expressing emotions and affection. I, on the other hand, am very affectionate when I feel comfortable with the person. On the beggining od our relationship, I was more shy and he was kind of chasing me. But now I would like to be cuddly, have deep conversations and spent at least na hour a day just together with no distractions. I admit I might be clingy and needy sometimes, it's because I really miss him. My husband get easily owerhelmed and escapes to computer games or some neutral topics unrelated to our lives. He feels like every deeper conversation is "talking about problems" and it makes him feel stressed. Sometimes he answers my questions just with Ok to hmm. I gets worse when he's tired, sometimes I feel like just my presence in a house Is stressing him out. He also doesn't wanna be intimate, it lasts about 8 months now. He ensured me he really loves me and wants to stay with me, he said he Is just tired and stressed. He refuses therapy because he doesn't trust it and doesn't want to reveal his emotions to stranger. I absolutelly want to stay and work this out, he is the love of my life. I just need some advice, ideally from avoidant themselves. I would love to know how he feels and what might trigger him. (I asked, he said "sorry, but I dont know, it's just all to much"…)—
TL;DR; : My husband Is avoidant dur to his childhood trama. How could I help him feel more safe?