I (22M) have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years, and she’s the person I want to spend my life with. Our relationship is genuinely great, and that’s why this situation has been so frustrating.
The issue is her twin sister.
From pretty early on, I tried to be kind, respectful, and involved with my girlfriend’s family. I get along well with her other siblings and family members, but her twin has consistently been difficult with me. Almost every time we’re all together, she finds a way to start an argument, make a comment, or create tension even over small things. It feels very one-sided and draining.
What makes it harder is that she can be perfectly nice when it benefits her, and the second something small inconveniences her she takes it out on me and or her family. Early in our relationship, my girlfriend even told me not to go out of my way to build a relationship with her twin, which I didn’t fully understand at the time but do now.
She doesn’t only act this way toward me either she often behaves similarly with her parents and siblings. At this point, I feel emotionally burnt out and just want peace. I’m not looking to fight or confront her anymore.
I’ve started pulling back and keeping things polite but distant. I’m no longer overextending myself emotionally or financially toward someone who doesn’t seem to respect me or appreciate me.
The difficult part is that my girlfriend and I are moving in together soon, and I plan to propose later this year. I want to handle this in a way that protects my relationship and avoids unnecessary long-term family tension.
What is the healthiest way for me to handle this situation moving forward while maintaining my relationship and setting appropriate boundaries with her sister?
TL;DR Original taken down and edited to fit moderation- Any advice is appreciated