I just posted this in a comment section (less detailed) but felt it deserved its own thread. I (26F) have been married to my wife(22F) for 3 years, together 4.
Bare with me as this may be all over the place 🙃
A look into my life: I take care of all chores. Trash, laundry, dishes, meal prep, taking care of our pet, cooking, grocery shopping, budget, bills etc. literally do everything besides wipe her ass. We both work. So, I don’t believe stress is a main cause although there is some stress in her life but I also have stress, lots of it. I have good hygiene, I do my hair most days, I usually do my lash extensions, I wear the perfumes she likes on me, I dress decent. I usually never leave the house looking like a bum unless I am extremely sick. I wear comfy clothes if I’m at home but so does she.
This became a problem sometime in the last year (give or take a few months). We use to have sex for hours and wouldn’t even get sleep before work the next day. Now the closest thing I get is cuddling. We don’t kiss unless it’s a peck. No foreplay in or outside of the bedroom from her. I’ve sat down and had multiple conversations expressing how I feel and trying to seek an explanation from her to justify that it’s not just me. I’ve ask if she’s depressed but she says she isn’t.
The times we have had sex this year have been boring, usually not even once a month.. Same exact thing happens every time. We get in bed, I finally doze off, she starts something and it’s always missionary and vanilla. It makes me feel like it’s just a chore for her at this point. We’ve never had sex outside of the bedroom. I was the one starting it almost every single time before I got to the point where I just stopped and explained to her why I’m not going to be putting in the effort anymore.
I’ve tried to get her to try new positions, she won’t. She isn’t open to watching porn together or using toys. She doesn’t want to experiment in any way. I’ve even offered for her to explore with other people to see if maybe it really is just me. I’ve mentioned I’m open to pretty much anything. I’ve gave every option I know of, she just doesn’t seem interested.
Now, sex has NEVER been a priority for me, I could honestly live without it. I was celibate by choice for 2 years before getting with her (best decision ever). But to be attracted to my partner and crave that intimacy and not able to have it, is frustrating and depressing. I don’t want to leave my marriage especially over something so trivial though I feel as if I am at the end of a dead end road 😞
Not exactly sure what I’m looking for here, just wanted to get it off my chest. Please be nice.