So basically, I’m in a relationship with the woman I genuinely see as my future wife. She’s 25, I’m 28.
We first met on Instagram, then IRL, and we’ve been together for about a year now. We recently moved in together.
I work and study at the same time. She finished her studies a few months ago.
I make around $2k a month, which covers both of us for now. It’s enough, even if it can get a bit tight sometimes, mostly because I like spoiling her and buying her stuff when she asks.
I do most of the cooking, and chores are like 60/40 because she really hates cleaning.
She does the laundry, I do the dishes.
When I’m at work or at uni, she mostly tries to keep herself busy, but yeah, she gets bored and spends a lot of time on social media. She doesn’t want to work right now, and honestly that doesn’t bother me at all. Like, genuinely no issue there.
The thing is, when I’m away, she texts me a lot asking when I’ll be home, saying she misses me, wants to talk, wants to spend time together, etc.
But as soon as I get home, she suddenly says she’s tired and just goes straight to her phone. And I’ll be real, I’m kinda lost.
Even when I plan dates or take her out to restaurants, she just keeps scrolling. Scroll, scroll, scroll.
At the beginning of the relationship it wasn’t like this at all, but now I honestly feel almost alone.
Sometimes I even wonder if the restaurants and gifts are more for me than for her. Like I’m trying to buy a bit of interaction or connection at this point.
When I ask her if she still loves me or if I annoy her, she clearly says yes, she loves me, and no, I don’t annoy her at all. And she seems sincere. I don’t really doubt that part.
But it feels like doomscrolling is slowly sucking her soul out of her body, and I have no idea what to do.
I’ve talked to her about it. She’s aware of it and agrees it’s an issue, but nothing changes. I just feel alone and like I’m trying everything, and nothing works.
Honestly, she interacts more with random videos she sees online than with me over the course of an entire week.
I thought that by not pushing her to work, doing most of the chores, and handling the cooking, it would free up her mental space or help somehow, but it really doesn’t.
She wanted to join a women-only fitness club, so I paid for a full year membership. She never went.
Same thing with a book club she wanted to join. I paid for it, and she never went either.
I even try to talk about myself. My goals, my job, my studies, what I’m into, what I’m feeling. But it doesn’t really seem to interest her that much.
I’m genuinely lost right now. If anyone has advice, I’m all ears.
TL;DR:
I love my girlfriend and she says she loves me, but since we moved in together she spends most of her time doomscrolling. She asks for attention when I’m away but ignores me when I’m home. I feel emotionally alone and don’t know how to fix this.