I don’t live at home. I moved countries (from New Zealand to Australia) and recently came back for the Christmas and New Years holidays.
I could write a book about past issues but my sisters and I hold a lot of resentment towards our parents, more recently than ever. I’ve always tried to give them benefit of the doubt due to their upbringings, and sacrifices made for us to give us the best possible upbringing by moving countries. However, recently with age and a bit of clarity since moving, I can see that’s not a legitimate excuse anymore.
My mother is Bi-Polar with ADHD and Depression. She turns to wine more than ever and it’s become a concern. She’s fixated on social media, her stories, her likes and who does and doesn’t follow her. She cares about her social image and how she looks. Is her breasts pushed up enough. Is her makeup good enough. Is her posture good enough. It’s all just so much.
We’ve had our fair share of arguements. She has faked a DV case which saw my dad in jail for 5 nights and then unable to return home for about 6 months. She’s dragged my sister (now 22F) down a flight of stairs which left her bruised up. She’s thrown my dad’s PC before all because she felt like we were ganging up on her. She deliberately kept me up all night before an exam because she didn’t believe me when I said the dirty dishes weren’t mine (I failed that paper). And much much much more.
I got a message from my sister while away with friends last night for New Year’s Eve that they got into a fight. My sister had realised my mum was posting on her Instagram stories but she couldn’t see it. She had then asked me to see if I could see it, which I couldn’t. I had asked my partner if she could see it, and she couldn’t either. When confronting my mum, my sister recorded the whole thing in video format in her pocket as proof. My mum blatantly lied only to then say she did block all of us, myself, my partner and my two sisters (23F and 22F) because she feels we have group chats dedicated to talking behind her back because someone told her. She feels that she deserves her own private life. The arguement went on saying how we all hate her, how she can post photos of us if she wants without asking and should be able to hide whatever she wants from us. The concerning is, my father (53F) was sat there and said nothing, except for telling my sister (22F) to keep her voice down.
I came back today, to my sister visibly shaken, crying, red eyes, no sleep and I took her to my partners parents house to chill and she gave them the biggest hug and just cried. I was so mad. I wished I could swear on here but I’m so mad. I confronted my dad just before (my mum’s at work) and he just sat there and said “it’s for you guys to sort out with your mum, but you got to remember she’s done a lot for you and your sister needs to seek professional help to sort her emotions out.”
I cannot wait for my sister to finish her engineering degree and move out. She has the kindest heart, incredibly smart and hard working and so so selfless. Despite everything she still tries to love my parents but after yesterday and today she’s reached breaking point. She’s shaking non stop, she’s asked if my partners parents would let her stay over every once in a while (they’ve offered and love her), she’s even said she’d sleep in her car some nights if she has to. She’s gone from a bubbly, energetic bunny to someone who doesn’t want to get out of bed.
TL;DR: My sister (22F) confronted my mum about blocking us kids (28M, 25F, 23F and 22F) from social media and it’s resulted in my sister (22F) to break emotionally.