I’m posting here because I need perspective from people who may have been in a similar situation.
I’m 19F and my boyfriend is 18M. We’ve been together for four months. Our relationship is loving, caring, and emotionally safe. He treats me with a lot of gentleness and respect, and I genuinely feel loved by him.
The only issue we’re struggling with is my past.
Before him, I had two relationships where I was physically intimate. My boyfriend is a virgin. He had one relationship before me but no physical intimacy at all — not even a kiss. I’m his first kiss and his first emotional closeness. We haven’t had sex yet.
There’s also one incident from my past that I regret. I once had a very close male friend. We studied together and had a good friendship. One day, unexpectedly, we kissed. It didn’t come from feelings and it never happened again. After that, we slowly drifted apart.
I chose to be completely honest with my boyfriend because I didn’t want to build a relationship on lies. While he says he loves me — and I believe him — my past has been very hard for him to accept. He tries to move past it, but the thoughts keep returning and it’s affecting him emotionally.
Because of this, we’ve had several calm but painful conversations about whether we should even be together. We keep choosing to stay and hoping things will improve, but the issue hasn’t fully gone away.
I don’t believe my past defines my worth or who I am in this relationship. I’ve been honest, loyal, and committed. At the same time, I can see that this situation genuinely hurts him too.
I’m sharing this because I want to understand how situations like this usually unfold and what realistic expectations look like when partners struggle with differences around past experiences.
TL;DR: I’m 19F, my boyfriend is 18M. We love each other, but he is struggling to accept my past relationships and past sexual experiences. I was honest with him, but it keeps affecting him emotionally. We’ve had painful conversations, breakups, and reconciliations. I want to stay with him, but I’m unsure how to navigate his feelings about my past.