I'm a guy struggling with what I believe is Congenital Copulatory Role Discordance (CCRD) and to say it plainly, it's making my life more difficult.
It feels embarrassing to explain this but the best way to describe my CCRD is that even though I'm physically attracted to women as any straight guy is, my brain has the sensation that it expects and wants a vagina.
It also optimally feels the most pleasure in myself assuming the female sexual role which is why in my sexual fantasies I usually imagine myself as a woman with a man; sexually, my brain wants me to be penetrated in a vagina that I don't have.
Of course as a guy I feel embarrassment and shame about this, and I also feel ashamed that I feel ashamed about this because it's pretty clear that I have some internalized misogyny.
And it's making my life worse because it interferes with my male heterosexuality in that although I'm physically attracted to women and having no physical attraction to men, my brain sexually wants me to be a woman with a man and so a lot of the women in my life have gotten the impression that I'm not interested in them, and I feel a degree of envy of the fact that men seem to have a raw male desire to pursue women and be fully satisfied in the male role and being the man in the relationship; living life without desire feels dead.
Since I'm not asking for medical advice here, I just wanted to first understand how normal people experience sexual desire as men and women as it could help me understand my own condition.
For straight men, please correct me if I'm wrong but I guess most of the men here just want to penetrate and fuck and be dominant and be validated by your significant other in the male role both sexually and in the relationship.
For straight women, please correct me if I'm wrong but my guess is that a lot of women naturally get turned on by the idea of being submissive and dominated by a handsome muscular guy and being fucked and impregnated by him in your vagina and being with a guy that makes it easy for being in the female role of the relationship come natural to you.
If you're queer, I'd be curious to know your experiences as well.
Thank you.