I’m looking for outside perspective because I know breakups can mess with perception, and I don’t want to spiral or project meaning where there isn’t any.
My ex and I officially broke up around mid-October, but we stayed in contact after the breakup. During that time, we’d repeatedly say goodbye and try to move on, but then either she or I would break no contact again. It became an on-and-off emotional cycle rather than a clean separation.
A big turning point happened after an emotional moment where I went over to her place. I gave her a gift, and I ended up breaking down crying because seeing her brought up a lot of unresolved feelings. I didn’t intend to put that emotional weight on her, but I understand how overwhelming it could’ve felt. We kept talking the next day but the day she made it clear that we shouldn’t contribute in this cycle and should stop talking. Which I respected.
Shortly after that, she reacted strongly to some tweets of mine, assuming I was drunk or out partying when I was really just tweeting song lyrics.She said “after everything from yesterday”. Assuming I was out drunk at the club of casino. That escalated into her telling me not to contact her again and regretting telling me about her plans going to a rave since it went bad. She blocked me on iMessage, Instagram, and most platforms. I respected that and haven’t tried to reach out since.
What’s confusing me and what I’m trying to understand without jumping to conclusions is that despite the blocking, there still seem to be moments of indirect awareness rather than total detachment.
Examples:
Before blocking me, she was clearly monitoring my Twitter and reacting emotionally to it.
Since the block, she’s reposted a lot of relationship-focused content (about boundaries, masculinity/femininity, love, closure), which I know can just be self-processing.
Friday night I went out a tweeted a little. She then posted in Twitter “this dude must drink everyday😬” I ignored and didn’t react to it.
Then Saturday the next day, my cousin posted me on his account (I didn’t post myself) and also she never removed him from social media. Shortly after, she posted far more than usual that day. Then on Monday, she barely posted at all. And deleted the “ this dude must drink everyday” tweet.
On Christmas Day, I unexpectedly ran into her at the gym literally the only gym open that day. Didn’t expected her Christmas Day at the gym.
I didn’t approach or interact with her at all. What stood out to me was that she parked her car next to mine even though there were plenty of open spots. I genuinely didn’t know she’d be there, and she easily could’ve been doing something else that day.
To be clear:
I’m not following her.
I’m not trying to run into her.
I’m not planning to break no contact.
I’m aware coincidence and pattern-seeking are very real after a breakup.
The dynamic before the block involved a lot of emotional back-and-forth, mixed signals, and difficulty fully disengaging on both sides.
My real question isn’t “does she want me back?”
It’s more:
Is this:
normal post breakup emotional reactivity paired with a need for distance?
unresolved emotion without any intention to reconnect?
or something I should fully ignore and stop analyzing altogether?
I’m not looking for validation or hope I’m trying to understand whether blocking can coexist with emotional awareness, or if the healthiest interpretation is simply “boundary set, stop reading into it.”
Would appreciate grounded perspectives, especially from people who’ve been on either side of this kind of cycle.