Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
Hi everyone,
This topic is really uncomfortable for me, but I don’t know who else to talk to about it.
I’m 22, my girlfriend is 20. We’ve been together for almost 2 years and were each other’s first partners. Overall, our relationship is good and sexually things work well, but there’s one thing I’ve always avoided.
I don’t dare to touch my girlfriend directly down there or go down on her. In my head, the thought keeps coming up that urine might be there and that it just isn’t clean. Even if she’s showered beforehand, it still feels unhygienic to me and I get mentally blocked.
I know many would probably say this is nonsense, but for me it feels very real. I’m afraid it might feel or smell unpleasant, and that I’d completely lose my desire. So I avoid it altogether, even though I can tell she sometimes wants more.
I honestly wonder if this is normal or if I’m just weird. Have other men had similar thoughts, and how did you deal with it? I don’t want to disappoint my girlfriend, but I just can’t overcome this hesitation.
Please try to understand, it was really hard for me to write this.
Thanks in advance.