I (24F) have been friends with “Daniel” (41M) for about three years. He is extremely religious, everything in his life revolves around God, the devil, spiritual purity, or sacrifice. I knew this from the start and accepted it, since he wasn't really judgemental of other people and only despised himself, or hateful christians. Also I didn't think this would be full on religious psychosis. I genuinely care about him and always thought of him as a kind, gentle, but deeply wounded person.
Over time, though, his attachment to me became fucking insane. Daniel calls me his “greatest friend,” but more than that, he says I’m the only pure person left in a corrupt world. He has told me, verbatim, that God gave him a mission: to protect me from the devil. He believes I’m being constantly targeted by evil forces and that my life is in danger almost all the time. It's driving him INSANE.
He’s convinced I’m going to die unless he intervenes spiritually. He’s said people are plotting to kill me, that Satan is trying to give me cancer, and that God warns him of my death in visions. He will pray obsessively for hours.
Multiple times, he’s shown up at my house unannounced, sometimes very late at night. He was standing on my porch or in my driveway, praying out loud for my protection, sometimes crying and on his knees too.
One of the most disturbing moments happened during a sleepover. We were staying at my place; he was supposed to be sleeping in the guest room. I woke up around 3 a.m. and found him in my bedroom, kneeling beside my bed, praying loudly over me. I panicked. He told me God woke him up and told him that I would develop a brain tumor before morning unless he prayed over me immediately.
This dude genuinely believed he was saving my life.
There was another moment where he dropped to his knees in front of me during a conversation, crying and saying I was “holy” and thanking God for allowing him to be near me. It felt like worship. I didn't know wtf to do, I was SO embarrassed. I just begged him to stand back up.
Daniel also believes that hurting himself can protect me. He has mutilated himself multiple times because he believes God accepts his pain in exchange for my safety. When I begged him to stop, he broke down sobbing and said that unless he suffers, I will be hurt, and he can’t let that happen.
He’s told me about his past: years ago, he had a psychotic episode (he doesn't think of this as that) where he slit his hand to the bone in the middle of the street, got on his knees, and bled over a Bible opened to the passage where Jesus says that whoever is without sin should be the first to throw stones at the adulterous woman. He has said this is the quote that made him sob when he read it for the first time. He was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward afterward. He insists it wasn’t illness, just people misunderstanding God.
Recently, he confessed that he’s in love with me. He said it isn’t sexual, he’s a virgin and deeply afraid of women (and sometimes men), but that his love is “pure” and sacrificial. He says I’m the only thing in this world he loves.
As I started pulling back for my own safety and got his own good, he was so sad. He cried sm, and told me he would “keep praying for my safety no matter what,” because he doesn’t love anything else in this world. He said even if I leave, his mission doesn’t end.
I love him, at least I care about him plenty. I am deeply concerned for him. I don’t think he’s evil, I think he’s very, very sick. But I’m scared. I feel watched. I don’t sleep well. I feel like my existence is tied to whether he spirals or not.
I’ve told him I need distance and that he needs professional help before I can continue any kind of relationship. He’s devastated and he refuses any professional help because he thinks mental health professionals are devilish (they have treated him terribly in the past). Idk what to do or if distancing myself was right:(
TL;DR:
My 41M friend has severe religious psychosis and believes God gave him a mission to protect me (24F). He thinks Satan is trying to kill me, shows up unannounced to pray over me, entered my bedroom at night to “save” me, self-harms to “protect” me, and sees me as holy and the only thing he loves. He’s had past psychotic episodes and hospitalization but refuses professional help. I care about him, but I’m scared and don’t feel safe. I’ve distanced myself and told him I need space and treatment, but I feel guilty and unsure if that was the right choice.