Background: I’m American my husband is Spanish, I have two kids from a previous marriage. For the last 13 years, despite my happiness or traditions, we have spent every xmas eve, xmas day, New years ever eve and New Year’s Day with my husbands family. In the Spanish culture Xmas eve celebrations start late, usually around 11pm and go all night. In my traditions I’m used to celebrating eh dinner around 7, opening some gifts Xmas eve and heading to bed after the kids get to sleep and we get Santa gifts set up. My mom comes from out of town every other year for xmas and there was never a willingness to compromise so we could have a traditional Xmas eve our style once in awhile so usually I do Xmas eve with her early in the day and then she lace leaves for my sister. We host since we have the biggest house so I’m stuck year after year having my husbands family come over at 10pm staying all through the night and waking up to a mess everywhere or people sleeping everywhere making it hard to do Xmas AM with my kids and he never wakes up to see them open their gifts because he stayed up all night and is tired. And I’vesucked it up year after year, until this year. This year his nephew wanted to host that lives 2 hours away however there’s no room there for anyone to be inside so they were getting a party tent. My kids are now 16 and 18 and didn’t want to go and I told my husband it was just to far to drive 2 hours home at 3 or 4 am and not get here until 6am. Rather than compromise this year he has decided to spend all of xmas Eve and Xmas day with them leaving me alone with the kids. He got home at 8am from Xmas Eve, again was not present for gifts. Then when he woke up left to go to his moms house. Is it not reasonable to compromise on holidays so both can have years of enjoyment? I feel so hurt and honestly abandoned by my husband. I never thought he wouldn’t spend any time with me or that I wouldn’t be a priority. I don’t really think I’ll be able to move past this… for 13 years I’ve prioritized and sacrificed for him so am I being selfish to ask for 1 year? My kids are turning into adults soon they won’t be here for Christmas and I just wanted to enjoy this one together.