Following up from my last post. Married for 1 year, recent anniversary on 11th December

After our last fight got sorted, I came back to my parents’ home. Spent around 13k on flight tickets. Things were okay after that, normal even, until a few days ago.

Out of nowhere, my husband completely shut down.
We spoke normally around 20–30 minutes before. Everything was fine. I told him it was Maghrib time and I’d call after prayer. He said okay.
I called back after prayer and suddenly he was a different person. Cold tone. Mean replies. Emotionally distant. I genuinely don’t know what changed in those few minutes.

I assumed maybe he was tired, so I called again 1–2 hours later. Same behaviour. Video call, but he couldn’t even look at me. Later at night, I tried again. Still cold.
Next day, he didn’t text or call. I did. Same short replies: “Hi”, “Ok”, “How are you”, “Alhamdulillah”, “Ok bye”.
This pattern has been repeating on and off for the last one year.

There’s no job stress, no financial pressure, no visible issue that I know of. I keep asking him directly if something is wrong. He says nothing.

On the third day, I decided to give space. I waited till 5 pm, hoping he’d text or call. Nothing. So I reached out again. He seemed completely uninterested in me.
Is asking for one call or one simple salam text a day too much?

I give space. I try communication. I talk about my day. I ask if he’s okay. There’s no response emotionally.
This morning, I snapped and confronted him. I regret it now because I know he’ll probably stop talking to me for weeks.

He said, “Koi haqooq nahi hain jo poore na kiye ho.”
I said love, affection, and communication are also part of a marriage.

I asked him clearly, if you don’t want to talk, say it. If you want space for a month, say it. I’ll respect it. But the silence hurts.

He said it was namaz time (Friday) and left the call.
My return ticket is on 5th February. I already know he won’t call or text now unless I do.

I’m very attached to him. I love him deeply. I try distracting myself with movies, but it doesn’t help much. I don’t really have close friends either.

I speak to my in-laws 2–3 times a day. His brother even checks in sometimes. But my own husband doesn’t.
I feel trapped. Helpless.

Emotionally exhausted. And still, I know I’ll be the one to call again later.i ask Allah in prayers to put love in his heart for me .
Men or women who’ve experienced this,
What is this behaviour?
What should I do next?


1 comment
  1. This sounds exhausting OP. That hot and cold pattern is so draining and honestly pretty manipulative whether he realizes it or not

    The fact that his family talks to you more than he does is a huge red flag. You shouldn’t have to beg your own husband for basic communication

    Maybe try not reaching out for a full week and see what happens? Sometimes people don’t realize what they’re losing until it’s actually gone

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