Long story short- my husband (M23) and I (F23) got in an argument within the last week or two, regarding him letting his buddies come over and him picking up everything in the bathroom EXCEPT for my lingerie from the night before. When I noticed this I immediately freaked out as the thought of them seeing it made me soooo uncomfortable and embarrassed. He didn’t seem to care about it at all, even tho it obviously was something that I cared about. It basically fizzled from there of him not comforting me and blaming me for it.
I do admit my own faults in the moment (just telling it how it is), I decided that since he was blaming me for it. I would make sure it never happened again, and threatened to throw out all of my lingerie. He got so mad, grabbed me, and I started bawling. While I was crying he didn’t offer any comfort, he just yelled like a parent scolding a child, while I literally cried in a corner. Anywho needless to say that really hurt me, so we didn’t really talk or interact much for about 3 days. After that we talked and kinda fixed it. Even though I still feel hurt by the whole situation.
Fast forward. Today is Christmas. He had mentioned something before Christmas about getting me a spicy present. I figured maybe it was some of those libido chocolates or something for us both to enjoy, but when he mentioned it I had made sure to tell him it sounded like that gift would really be a gift for himself.
Well this was our first Christmas married. I paid attention to things he had been talking about and wanting, and not to brag but I really did great on the gift giving. Even his stocking I filled with useful things and stuff he liked. And my stocking? 2 lingerie sets. I pulled them out kinda laughed and rolled my eyes, but when I felt deeper in the stocking and there was nothing else my heart sank. Not even gum? Not a candy bar? Not a gift card for coffee? Nothing?
He could tell I was upset and I could tell he felt guilty, so I tried not to be too mad. He started opening gifts and on about the 2nd or 3rd gift I could tell he felt really guilty.
I opened the 4 gifts he got me and half of them were more lingerie. He kinda tried to comfort me but also tried to play off some of them as being pajamas? (Literally a see through lace dress)
Idk how to feel. Leading up to Christmas I tried pointing out things that I would like to help him out but it just hurts because he didn’t pay attention to any of it.
His parents got me a kitchen aid mixer, which I am so so happy about because I have always wanted one! He tried to take credit for it but I figured out he just told them about it and didn’t really have anything to do with the purchase of it. He kinda kept saying that that was from him too, but it wasn’t? So it kinda felt like he was piggy backing off of that gift so I couldn’t be upset about our Christmas to each other. Idk am I being too picky or is it understandable to be hurt by this?