Hi redditors so i am needed some help with understanding my situation because im feeling like im at my whits end with my relationship
So me and my partner have been together for a little over two years, we fell madly in love immediately, and moved in together within 6 months, at the beginning she was really motivated with work and passionate about her hobbies and so was i, we are both musicians so we bonded with that immediately she’s beautiful smart funny and just my best friend in every way
our first house that we lived in was a share house with her friend who was a decent guy but was horrible to live with, was a complete grub left mess everywhere, was loud asf when he was gaming and was inviting tinder chicks over constantly, just not our vibe so we moved to a house a bit further away from her family and friends, we both agreed to find work locally i found a decent paying job in construction close to the area and she struggled to find work, i should also mention that she was on welfare by the time that we moved out so her financial capacity was super limited, like she could barely afford groceries for the house, i was happy to support us both financially but i could not save anything while paying almost the full rent of the house plus bills, but yeah her mental health really declined while living there, like she hid it well but i could see that sitting in the house all day was eating at her, i really tried to help her through it but i had to work crazy hours for us to be able to afford our living expenses
so anyway a couple of months into living in this house, she went and got diagnosed with autism, which i was always happy to help her and support her with it and find ways that she could exist in the world because she has always struggled socially and emotionally with people, but as time went on she just i don’t know lost motivation and drive?? and every time i would bring up her looking for some work she would take it as an attack and would say that any job that she could work would be overstimulating or just not for her, i guess the part that i struggle with is that she has worked in hospitality and as a cleaner for a big resort previously which are both pretty high intensity jobs so she has been capable in the past, i really have tried to hard to be patient and help her through this but im finding it hard to do all while trying to build my own future, also for the 8 months that we were there her car was essentially fkd, and she was scared to use her money to fix it in case we would’ve gone fully broke as we were pretty much living check to check, so that exacerbated her mental health issues as well as mine, but we managed to stick it out and ended up finding a share house to save some money
but today she was throwing a fit because of the fact that she has no money and everything is so expensive, and i tried to console her as best i could and i brought up the idea of looking for a job and she said that she would work at the post office which is only like 6 hours a week which isn’t much and wouldn’t want to do anything else, and i don’t know i guess that shocked me like im worried for our future
there’s no way ill be able to buy a house and build a home for my family on my wage alone?? the economy is fkd and i didn’t have the best head start in life im only really recently starting to get my shit together
and i am also partly to blame because i think i have a problem setting boundaries and asking for more help, and over time its almost become the norm for me to pay for most of the things but now she doesn’t have a car and has been lucky to have her dad put over $1000 into fixing it, its still not running so ive been the one driving. her everywhere and stuff
i just have gotten to the point t where i feel as though my mental health is pretty shit… i’ve started to feel anxious about a lot of things, i have had one panic attack before but i feel like the onset of panic attacks has become more frequent, i actually fainted about two weeks ago and got taken to hospital
anyway im not trying to make it seem like i resent her, there’s probably parts of me that do unfortunately, but i truly love her so much and want this to work but it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel
but anyway i will leave it here feel free to drop a comment, i apologise if i let seems like my writing is all over the place i do feel pretty anxious as i write this, i guess i needed a bit of a vent thanks for reading 🙂
TL;DR My 25M GF22 hasn’t been motivated to work or willing to contribute since being diagnosed with autism