My husband (47M) and I (42F) have been married 20 years. Our sexual relationship has been the strongest point of our marriage. We regularly, almost daily, engaged in bedroom intimacy. He recently became ill with lung and liver problems. I noticed prior to being medically treated for the illness he was experiencing ED problems. He was regularly taking Bluechew and where it worked its magic in years past was now not working at all. This was causing arguments because I was expressing concern and wanting him to change the type of pill he was receiving. He would get angry and say all I wanted him for is his boner, not totally wrong but I am deeply in love with him. Over the last year if the medication did not take effect we would engage in other forms of physical activity and it was getting us by. He was recently hospitalized for 15 days and at home recovering. After seeing much improvement in his health I expected him to regain some of his lobito, as it was super strong before. But he has not touched me or shown any interest sexually in me at all. I’m devastated. I have tried to bring it up with deep care and understanding of his illness. But it has only made him angry (he has always had a short temper and quick to be defensive). I said I understand it takes time for his body to heal but why can’t he show me the physical touch I am wanting. I compared it to when we had our 3 daughters and 3 miscarriages how he bullied me into being sexually active when I wasn’t feeling up for it. I said there are so many other options other than penial penetration for intimacy. It has only made me feel abandoned and neglected. I sat at his bedside in fear of losing him, I’ve nursed him for upwards of a year knowing there were big health issues.
How can I get the intimacy I’m so deeply craving?