I (30M) have been dating my girlfriend (28F) for two and a half years. We have a great, trusting relationship. She currently lives with her father (64M), who is extremely strict and has a massive ego. For context, she isn’t "allowed" to sleep over at my place without him getting upset. He also frequently exaggerates his achievements (claiming he can bench 500lbs, has experience in a field he didn't etc.) and insists on being addressed as "Mr. [Last Name]" by anyone younger than him.
I’ve decided I want to marry her. My girlfriend is traditional and insisted that I ask her father for his blessing. I personally find the tradition outdated, but I swallowed my pride for her sake. I took him to lunch, asked for his blessing, and he said he was "honored."
The Problem: After saying yes, he told me he requires me to write a formal "Letter of Intent" for him before I proceed with the proposal.
I feel like this is a massive overreach. I’ve already done the respectful thing by asking in person. To me, providing a written document feels like I’m applying for a job or asking a boss for permission, and I’m worried that complying will set a precedent where he feels he has that authority.
My girlfriend is stuck in the middle because she lives there and has to deal with his "shenanigans" daily until she moves out next year.
- Has anyone else ever dealt with a "Letter of Intent" for a marriage?
- How do I navigate this without making my GF's life difficult)while still maintaining my boundaries?
TL;DR: GF’s ego-driven father gave his blessing for marriage but is now demanding a formal "Letter of Intent." I don't want to give him that kind of authority over my life.