Why is it always the default parents job to pack for trips for the child?? I am exhausted. I am a full time working mom, and my husband is an in town shift worker. He does a lot of overtime in the winter. When my son (3) does get to see him he often gets silly and doesn’t listen as well because he is so excited Daddy is home. He is often far too tired and exhausted to deal with his behaviour and is snappy. I do every bedtime put down because I do not want him to ever feel like someone doesn’t love him before he goes to sleep. I was often left with a lot of relatives in my youth and cried myself to sleep. I refuse to let that be my son’s story.
At any rate, hubby asks us to go visit his family over Christmas. My FIL refuses to leave at Xmas time “worst time to travel”, but begs us every year to bring our kids home. It is substantially harder to pack up a child to a grandparents home than it is for us to pack up the car and drive 6 hours. They are snowbirds and are often gone for months at a time, there house is not baby proofed and they have minimal toys.
I have packed everything from toys to vitamins to sound machines and a slumber pod. Hubby seems to think it’s “not that bad”. I asked him to make his list and compare it to mine, just to make a point about hidden labour and his answer was “well let’s just not go then”.
I have had this fight multiple times with him, over planning extended family meals. He doesn’t get how much work it is and that I need help with the tasks involved. When I mention dividing labour he just says “we just won’t do it then”. Thats not what I said. What I said was, we can do these things, but I refuse to do it all while you do the bare minimum.
Why is this so hard for me to explain and for him to understand?