i never wanted kids, when i was 19 i started dating my husband who was an addict and 28 and we both did substances, he begged and begged for us to have a baby, everytime i came back and said well we don’t have this this or this or simply i’m not ready, he would reassure me no one is ready for kids etc well now my husband is so mean to me and only me. it’s like he hates me. it’s constant getting frustrated, and i get it: we have a lot of financial hardships but he always throws shit, yells, gets in my face, he puts me down when it benefits him and hypes me up when he wants s*x. i don’t want to do this anymore. i love my son so much but i learned the hard way love isn’t enough. my husband has some thing up his ass about being a better father than his dad, my son doesn’t deserve to have a mom who for years now has been wanting to disappear, leave, leaving with him isn’t realistic right now. i’m open to leaving and coming back to get him legally but god idk. i just want this constant stress and pain to stop. i feel so stupid feeling this way bc i knew better but i just didn’t listen to myself. is this normal? am i supposed to feel like this?