Husband says that he no longer feels the connection to me listing some of things that I did that he didn't like (ignoring the ''good'' things as even during bad moments, I tried to be kind to him in other ways) and saying that he doesn't think I love him. At the same time, I know that he's still physically attracted to me and says that he has ''some feelings'' for me. I sort of have the impression that he's hesitating.
I have asked him for years to do therapy, but he never wanted to pay money for it and said that no stranger can tell us what to do, that we can figure it out. I'm always the one going to relationship forums with questions, looking up for relationship articles. I found Dr Phil's relationship book, but we never finished it. I found Gottman's marriage book, same thing. There's always work, renovations, kids, activities….And I think that it's much more difficult to fix your relationship just with a book, so I feel like we've done nothing to actually work on the relationship….I don't know what else can be done when the other one doesn't believe in the relationship psychology and thinks that things should go well naturally (which I know happens for some couples).
What makes people motivated to actually work on the relationship when they're not seeing much positive? When do you say enough is enough when there's no abuse or anything horrible going on, but there are kids involved and it's better for them that their parents get along instead of separating? We all know that there are ''better'' partners out there because there are always people who are more generous, more mature, more this and that yet some people still get the motivation to fix what they have.