As the title says my girlfriend(F23) of a little over two years came over on Saturday after not seeing each other much over the holiday season to watch our show and spend some time together. For backstory we’re both pretty busy and with our schedules we’re usually intimate twice a week pretty regularly. We hadn’t had sex in two weeks so when she came over I tried to initiate and she shot me down and said that I could massage her but that she didn’t want sex. All good and we finished watching our show but she was pretty distant from the start and that’s been a common theme these past two weeks.
The next morning she texts me and says “this might come across as mean but it confirmed it for me yesterday. I just don’t wanna have sex with you anymore, I just don’t feel a desire to.” Now we go on dates regularly, I buy her flowers and little gifts constantly and I shower her with love and affection. So it’s not an issue of me not putting in effort. When I asked her if it was an attraction issue or if she still desires sex just not with me she responded by saying she doesn’t want sex from anyone and she doesn’t have a desire for sex. She likes me touching her body but she doesn’t want sex. I value sex in a relationship and it brings me a lot of intimacy, as well as the fact that I’m young and I can’t help but think that at 21 I should be having regular sex. She doesn’t value sex in a relationship as I do and her libido pretty consistently goes from high to low to high to low constantly it’s never consistent. We have a good relationship but it definitely stings to hear my gf doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore with no solutions or timeline given. Is it time to just call it quits?
Ive gotten shamed by her for expressing that I value sex in a relationship as she believes it shouldn’t be a dealbreaker and I believe that it comes to a point that it is especially when no other affection is given either. I have expressed to her that although I like sex I also value intimacy and affection in all other ways and she says it’s just not who she is to be lovey dovey. I feel like I’m asking for the bare minimum at times and now it’s come to a head. Any advice welcome please.