As the title says my sister’s husband passed away a little less than a year ago. His passing was very sudden and devastating. She has 2 sons under 10. I live abroad, and have since I graduated from university, so my sister and I do not talk. We have practically zero communication and I hear about almost everything through my mom. My sister bullied me a lot throughout our childhood, and isolated me from the family. Absolutely everything I did was torn apart by her or looked/talked down on. We only had a few physical fights but I still suffer a lot from mental health issues and depression. My mom did nothing about it at the time, and cannot understand or relate to my talks about mental health. I still have a lot of resentment and because of that I have no desire to talk to or be around my sister. Right now I’m on winter break, so I took some time to come back home. My sister hasn’t changed at all and still talks down to me, so I’ve kept my distance. My mom asked me to help her with something which involved reading something to her from her phone. While I was a text message from my sister popped up and I could see clearly it was speaking negatively about me. I read it and my sister says that she thinks I’m a narcissist (She sent a whole article detailing the symptoms to her) and I’m ruining the vibe of the holidays and everything I say to her has an attitude. The only thing I agree with is the last part because I genuinely want nothing to do with her. She’s not a nice person and she has never been. I feel very sorry for her that her husband died, but I can’t forgive the fact that she made my life hell. My mom is under the impression that she wants me here and wants the family together, and that I am the issue because I won’t let things in the past go, but my sister still treats me like garbage. I feel like her sending that message was the last confirmation that I needed to complete wall off the relationship. But I’m not fully sure what to do, and how to deal with the inevitable fallout from my mother. I can go into more detail with some of the incidents that happened this week/ in the past if you need more background information.