My(31F) GF and I ( 35M) haven’t been together for 6 years. Oct 2024 she straight up told me she wasn’t comfortable having sex because of the way she was feeling about our communication, affection, ect. She said she was going to prioritize herself and I needed to go above and beyond to get her to feel like she wanted sex with me again. I changed my habits, opened up more, became more affectionate, and did everything she asked for and more. It took until 1/26/25 for her to want to have sex again.
We had sex about once a month until May 25 where we moved in with each other. It thought this was going to bring us closer but it didn’t. We continued the once a month sex even living together even with me going above and beyond. She just acted colder and more distant, nothing like she was before all of this started in October. Our sex life continued to be dry all summer once a month. The last time we had sex was 8/16/25. I’ve spoken to her at least once a month about this since then and all she says is that she’s back to not ready to have sex with me.
I have a large sex drive and this is killing me. Every time I try to mention it she shuts down. I try to explain it’s okay if she’s got no desire for or doesn’t want to sex but once I say that all she says is think whatever you want and nothing gets better. It’s gotten to the point that two days ago she was acting flirty, gave me the middle finger and told me she was gonna take a shower while doing it. Normally this is her way of telling me she wants sex. I asked if I should join her and she just grunted, I said what’s that mean and she never responded and got in the shower. The next day I asked her about it and all she said was I don’t want to talk about it. I told her that if she doesn’t want to communicate and doesn’t want sex I can’t stay in this relationship.
She got extremely upset saying that all I want is sex and I don’t care about her feelings. I don’t want to continue being in a sexless relationship. I love her but this is killing me, it’s like I just becoming resentful and it’s bleeding into me not wanting to even be around her. I just don’t know what to do.