My husband and I have been constantly fighting since we had our baby. Honestly, he picked a fight with me on the way home from the hospital the day we brought our baby home. We just got married this year, and we’ve only been together for about two and a half years.
He has a very hot temper. Almost anything can make him angry, and he immediately starts shouting. I can’t have a normal conversation with someone who yells all the time. For example, we were driving around my parents’ neighborhood, where I grew up, so I know all the streets. He’s only been there once. When I told him, “Turn left,” he suddenly got mad and accused me of controlling him and not trusting that he knows what he’s doing. Most of the time, he picks fights over very small, insignificant things.
There have been a few times when we were arguing in the car and he started driving very fast out of anger, which honestly made me fear for my life. He says he would never hit me physically, but I don’t know if I should trust that. He shows a lot of the same abusive behaviors as his dad, who was physically aggressive toward his mom. They both have very bad tempers.
Whenever I tell him that he shouldn’t shout at me, he says it’s my fault because I “made him mad.” Many times he’s been abusive in other ways too—throwing things around the house, kicking objects—and then blaming me for his behavior. I never know what will set him off next; it could be something very small. I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells.
I’m wondering: does this ever get better with your husband? What should I do? Is it possible for him to change this behavior? I really don’t want to think about divorce, especially since we only got married a few months ago.