Me and my gf have recently been trying to have sex, we are both complete beginners and this would have been our first time. We started off with grinding and it was all going well, but as soon as I took off my clothes and put on the condom, I went completely limp. The only way to get it back would be to go back to grinding with clothes on, and even if it did get back to being hard it would only be half hard, and when failing to get it in, it would then become soft again. I’m not particularly sure why it happens in the first place, it’s not like I feel nervous but I guess I just must be. And then afterwards I end up just feeling bad as I know I will be disappointing her which then will stop me from getting hard again. It’s extremely embarrassing and I have no way to explain why this happens or how to fix it at all, and I just don’t want her getting the wrong idea or feeling left on a high Yknow. We have tried a few times now and she says she completely understands and it’s fine, but I know there is more that she wants and it feels very one sided in a way.
For a little context the only thing I can imagine it being is stage fright, along with the fact as a child I was on the bigger half, but even since losing weight I am still uncomfortable with myself due to the past, and can only imagine that my body is potentially maybe trying to hide itself back up? I’m not certain. But does anyone know why this is happening and how I can fix it and gain the confidence I suppose?