Me (31f) and my husband (35m) have been together for 9 years. Married for 4 years.
We have recently gone through some difficult things that we went to marriage counseling over. The root of most of the problems was lying to me, even when asked directly. So trust is having to be rebuilt.
One thing not covered in counseling was porn and his relationship with it. My husband has always looked at porn and I know this. The issue is the amount that he looks at it. I confronted him several months ago about it and told him I don’t care that he looks at it, but the frequency with which he does makes me feel like I am not enough for him. (At that point he was using it at least twice daily, 6-7 times daily on a day he was home and I was out of the house)
We have sex probably 3-4 times weekly on average. It is very rare that I say no to him(mostly because I want to but also fear that he will find pleasure elsewhere). I know he has continued to look at porn. Maybe with slightly less frequency than before. But now I feel like I have a huge insecurity about it, like I don’t do it for him anymore. He tries to hide it from me but he is not very good at it.
So I guess my issue is, I am caught between knowing he is going to look at porn. Which I don’t have an issue with as a general concept(I partake every now and then and we have watched some together). But knowing when he does, it makes me feel really insecure. How often do married men look at porn and how do wives navigate it?