I keep going on this wild back and forth with my husband…my libido is insanely high this year after a decade of low libido and my husband's libido is now low for me. Ive been going back and forth and I am chasing him for sex he doesnt want to have. It happens, but I feel like he views it as a chore. I feel rejected and the cycle continues until every few weeks have a really great seemingly matched desire night and then I want more and he avoids me for days. 😕
I made a joke on another post about waiting for xmas sex, but it really wasnt a joke. A few weeks ago during a really connected night was like I want you to get me super drunk and hard F me and that's what my body wanted and was craving. Also the history there is that he always loved when I was drunk and uninhibited during his high libido time. I thought it would maybe bring us back to that time.
Anyway, It's been a running joke between us but I didnt expect to even get touched on xmas. I think he felt guilty and he reluctantly initiated some VERY VERY vanilla sex on xmas. And I was ok with it, pretended to really like it, because I dont want to discourage his effort.
So last night I was not expecting anything, 2 nights in a row would be insanely rare. And I was drinking at a friend's house and then came home and i was cleaning the house. And HE actually suggested I get drunk and we have sex. So I drank a whole bottle of wine and went to bed and did all the things… lingerie, sexting before he came up while he was putting the kids to bed, very loud and explicit dirty talk (of course from me …this man is dead silent in bed) I was a little unhinged i was so excited to be in this space.i asked for everything i wanted. But also he was SOBER. So we probably have mixed recounts of this night.
So we did what we did and I wished it lasted longer and felt great. But i was a little out of hand (I am reading my own text history and blushing a bit) but I think I freaked him out. Like should I be holding back on this? For someone who is generally now Low libido… this was probably scary? I think this is going to drive him away? We haven't interacted much today hes just been playing video games. Am I crazy? Should I just enjoy this for myself?