Tldr : For some context, I’m a university student currently doing my Master’s degree, and I’m enrolled in a double degree. Because my field is very competitive, it’s difficult to work and study at the same time. I’m aware that I’m still financially dependent on my parents.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2.5 years. He’s my first official long-term relationship. I’ve been to his home twice and met his family, although it was more informal I was invited by him, and it felt natural.
The issue is my family. I come from a very strict household, and I’m an only child. My boyfriend can pick me up and drop me off for dates and outings, but he’s not allowed inside my house at all, not even to use the bathroom whether my parents are home or not. Our house has cameras, so there’s always monitoring.
I can feel how frustrating this situation is for him. We’ve been together for a long time, yet we can’t have a full night out together, stay at a hotel, or go camping overnight. I know that if I were in his position, I’d feel hurt and possibly rejected. At one point, he expressed concern that he doesn’t feel welcome in my family. I think this comes from my parents feeling like they’re “losing” their child and from me not being seen as independent yet.
We do go on dates regularly without issues, but I always have to come back home.
I’ve tried talking to my parentsm mostly my mom about having an official meeting with him, something simple and respectful. She’s completely against it and isn’t open to discussion.
There was one instance where my boyfriend did come to my house due to circumstances. He was helping me with a project that required going on site between his meetings. Afterwards, we brought food home and ate there. He spoke with my parents briefly, but it was not an official or intentional meeting.
Next year, I’ll be going abroad, and I’d really like to spend more quality time with him before I leave. That’s why I’m seeking advice now.
How do I navigate this situation without hurting my boyfriend or completely breaking trust with my parents? Is there a way to slowly introduce him or set boundaries while still being financially dependent?