I (22F) with no dating experience, have been working at a marketing firm for the last 7 months. As I’ve gotten closer to my colleagues, I’ve been exposed to situations and conversations that have honestly disturbed me and shaken my view of marriage.
In my workplace, infidelity is openly known and discussed. Our director is dating our head of operations; both are married. This is quite uncomfortable, as my aunt happens to be friends with the husband of the head of operations. There are also several employees in their early-20s who are openly involved with significantly older, married men. These dynamics are discussed casually, sometimes even justified.
What’s troubling is that all of this clearly affects the work environment. It is a toxic workplace culture with very poor boundaries at senior leadership levels, and it feels like power imbalances enable and normalize unethical behavior. This atmosphere contributes significantly to how stressful and uncomfortable the workplace feels on a daily basis; now even more so for me.
One incident that particularly disturbed me was overhearing a senior colleague who is currently pregnant laughing about not being sure who the father of her baby is. I don't know if she meant it as a joke or what, but that conversation stayed with me.
I live in a tier-2 city in India, and I never imagined this kind of behavior would be so normalized or openly accepted, especially in a work environment. Seeing this has made me genuinely anxious about my own future. I’ve always believed that cheating is one of the most disrespectful things someone can do to a partner, and I don’t think I could ever forgive it in a relationship.
As someone who has never dated, I’m struggling to understand whether what I’m seeing is an unfortunate but common reality of marriage today, or whether my workplace represents an unusually unhealthy and distorted sample. Even though I value financial independence and personal stability above marriage itself, I’m not an aggressive or highly competitive person by nature. My long-term plan has always been to settle into a stable job and a steady life rather than constantly chasing status or money. Until recently, I held a fairly traditional view of what that stability could look like, including the possibility of a committed, respectful marriage. What I’m seeing now has shaken that view quite deeply and has made me question whether those expectations are realistic anymore.
How do people who genuinely value loyalty, honesty, and commitment navigate marriage without becoming cynical or fearful? I’m not trying to judge anyone. I’m trying to understand reality better and make sense of what I’m seeing.