I met a woman, and a week later she had a BF (they had already been dating for a while, so that made sense, bad timing). For the next two years I saw her about two or three times a year at business events, and we would occasionally talk on social media.
She became single, and for about 5 months, she would message me constantly, comment on all of my posts. I saw her in person several times and my friends would whisper to me, “that woman is absolutely flirting with you. She clearly likes you.”
I’m terrible at detecting flirting, but even I could tell. She would touch me lightly on the elbow, arm, or shoulder. Text me asking if I was at the event yet. Ask me to lunch. Call out my name from across the room and run up to me. One of my friends said, “when you enter the room, she can’t keep her eyes off you.” She would even send me love songs and ask for my opinion.
I don’t know about you, but none of my friends do this kinda stuff. So, 5 months of this, and I asked her out…
She didn’t say “no”. The word “no” never appeared in her message. She said a date with me would be incredible, but… she gave me a list of reasons, which were:
– she was in her last semester of university (phd) and needed to focus on finals.
– she was still newly single and wanted to travel after finals. She hadn’t been single in a while and wanted to take time to herself before being involved with anyone so she could process it all.
– I see her at business events and she didn’t want that to become awkward (though it’s not uncommon for people to start dating or even get married from these events. Even so, she failed this by flirting with me for 5 months).
– she was still processing her ex in an unhealthy way and didn’t feel I deserved to get caught in that.
As bummed as I was, I actually felt this was a really healthy and introspective response from her. Though, I’m still upset, as I feel I was being used as a rebound or something to that effect.
To protect my mental health, and make room so I could “get over” her and move on, I’ve stopped viewing her social media or messaging her. It’s been a full year since I asked her out. I have seen her a few more times at events, and at each one she progressively warms up to me more and more. At the last event, she called out my name from across the room, and walked over and initiated a hug. I keep my distance from her unless she takes initiative.
Throughout this year, she has occasionally sent me memes, very specific to things I like. Probably 3 times. Then another three times she commented on pictures I posted. One comment she said, “bring back those hot car pics!” (In reference to me posing with cars for a professional photoshoot). Keep in mind, I’ve not seen any of her social media posts or messaged her the whole year.
I don’t know why she would bother reaching out at all. I’m trying to move on, and her reaching out screws with me, even if it’s only a few times (I like this woman A LOT and I’ve liked her since the day I met her.)
A friend of mine suggested she may be a fearful avoidant type, which I’ll have to read up on.
Either way, anyone have a better analysis of what happened? And what I should do next? I don’t want to block her if I can help it. But life isn’t like in the movies, and so I know she won’t suddenly return and confess her undying love for me. So I might have to block her if it lets me move on. All opinions or clarity is welcome!