I am a 43M, and my wife is 41; we have been married for 16 years. Our relationship is stable, with mutual affection, trust, and commitment. There are no issues involving infidelity or lack of emotional connection.
However, we are facing two long-standing issues that have had a significant impact on our marriage.
The first issue is infertility. Our inability to have children is directly related to medical conditions affecting my wife. Over several years, we pursued multiple options, including natural methods, assisted reproductive treatments, and in vitro fertilization, all without success.
We also explored the possibility of using donor eggs so that my wife could carry the pregnancy. She initially agreed, over time it became evident that she doesn’t wish to pursue this option and has abandoned the idea of having children even though she hasn’t explicitly said so.
I do not consider adoption a an option I want to take.
At my current age, I am conflicted about whether pursuing parenthood is appropriate; however, I acknowledge that becoming a father would likely be personally meaningful and fulfilling for me.
The second issue concerns our sexual relationship.
Due to hormonal conditions, my wife experiences physical pain during intercourse, which has resulted in a significant reduction in sexual activity which was not that frequent before.
Sometimes she gets frustrated and I let her
know that it is not problem for me, to relax and that we will find a way for both if us to enjoy sex.
Nevertheless, on the inside, I am concerned that this may be a chronic issue without a realistic long-term resolution.
I fell torn because all of these, I find myself wondering the possibility of divorce.
This consideration causes significant internal conflict, as I do not wish to cause my wife emotional harm or act selfishly. At the same time, I am trying to determine whether separation might ultimately be a healthier outcome for both of us.
I never thought I would come here for any advice, but here I am.