I am a 40F and I dated (I don't set my online dating settings to this age range deliberately, and he actually reached out to me first), a 30M. We only dated for 3 months (we both wanted something serious upfront) and later said he ultimately said he felt overwhelmed, but gave mixed signals, then ultimately ghosted. Tbh he was full of other issues like talking about how much he wants other women in front of me, and just being uncommunicative and strange.
I posted about the way things ended and how hurt I felt on this sub a while ago, and got a lot of comments like "oh it didn't work out cuz he's so much younger than you" or "what did you expect? you made a mistake by dating a young man" basically shaming me. but then I see 40 y.o. men posting how they dated a woman 10 years or more younger and no one flinches.
I prob wouldn't date anyone more than 10 years younger, only because after that not only is it weird but it's hard to relate to them or see eye-to-eye. Ofc it's context and individual dependent. But I just sense this in general. I've dated men about 3 years younger, or 4-5 years older, and tbh they were just as uncommunicative and evasive.
OK so maybe I don't pick em well, but I'm illustrating a point here: that it's not really having to do with age difference, but more to do with lack of maturity in these guys I dated.
Anyway, feeling dejected I've left the apps completely, and am now on a dating break. But when I return to dating after some time, I keep an open mind, remain cautiously optimistic to meet people IRL.