Hi everyone,
I’m a 24-year-old male, and I’m here because I need an outside perspective on something that has stayed with me for a long time.
For the past 3–4 years, I developed feelings for a woman (26F) who is married. Important context: she was already married before I fell in love with her. I never approached her, never spoke to her, never messaged her, and never crossed any physical or verbal boundaries.
What existed between us was only silent eye contact and awareness. We live in the same town, and whenever I was home, our paths would cross. Over time, it felt like there was a mutual emotional awareness — she noticed me, I noticed her. Nothing more than that ever happened.
I fully understood from the beginning that there was no future here. Because of that:
I never acted on my feelings
I never tried to interfere in her marriage
I never expected anything from her
Still, the feelings stayed. I tried to move on many times but failed. Recently, I finally decided to move on for good — for my peace and for hers.
Here’s where my confusion and guilt come in.
I plan that when I eventually get married, I will completely ignore her and give my full emotional loyalty to my wife. That feels like the right and respectful thing to do. But part of me feels guilty, thinking:
Did I do something wrong by falling in love with a married woman, even though I never acted on it?
If she had any emotional awareness or attachment toward me (even unintentionally), am I wrong for walking away completely?
Is choosing to move on and ignore this connection the right thing, or am I being unfair to her?
I don’t want to hurt anyone — not her, not her husband, and not my future partner. I’m choosing distance because I believe it’s the most responsible option.
I’d really appreciate honest, grounded advice:
Was this situation morally wrong even without action?
Is moving on completely the correct choice?
How do you let go of something that was never real but still felt real?
Thanks for reading.