Hi everyone,
I’ve been struggling with something for a while and I’m hoping to hear from people who might recognize this or have experienced something similar.
I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over 8 months now. He’s a farmer and works a lot; emotionally he’s quite closed off. He does cuddle with me, but kissing or other forms of physical intimacy barely happen it usually stays at small pecks. At the same time, he is serious about our relationship and talks about the future, clearly seeing me as part of it.
I’ve now had two open conversations with him about this. He says that he does feel attracted to me, but that he struggles to express it physically. He can’t really explain where this comes from. From my side, I’ve tried to initiate more intimacy, but it doesn’t really work and sometimes feels one sided.
I notice that this makes me feel insecure and sometimes frustrated. I’ve been honest with him about this, so he is aware of how it affects me. At the same time, I get the sense that he also doesn’t really know what to do or how to take steps in this area.
For some context: he has had casual flings before, but I am his first serious relationship. He’s in his late 20s, I’m in my mid-20s.
My questions are:
• Can someone genuinely love you but struggle with or have little need for physical intimacy?
• Have others experienced this, especially with someone who is emotionally closed off or inexperienced in relationships?
• What helped you move forward time, conversations, therapy, setting boundaries, or did it eventually turn out to be a mismatch?
I care deeply about him and want to handle this in a healthy way, but the lack of physical connection is starting to weigh on me.
Any experiences or insights are very welcome. Thank you 🤍
Edit: Were both not virgins but haven’t had sex with each other!