I’m a 21M and recently ended things with a 22F I cared about. The connection was strong, but over time I felt like being with her would require me to give up parts of myself — my independence, social life, and ability to exist without constant explanation or reassurance.
I wasn’t cheating or crossing boundaries, but normal independence often caused distress, and I found myself changing my behaviour just to keep the peace. The relationship felt increasingly dependent on me shrinking my world to manage someone else’s anxiety.
I still miss her, which makes this confusing, but I also don’t think a healthy relationship should require self-erasure.
So I’m asking honestly:
Is it ever worth losing parts of yourself to keep a relationship going, or is that always a sign something isn’t right?