My bf and I are trying to work on our communication and we've seen a bunch of apps for couples but it feels like all of them pretend to be free and then make you pay to actually do anything. Any actual free ones out there?

When we first started dating, we always had things to talk about and conversation seemed super easy like didn't take any effort. We've been together for a little over a year. Now it feels kind of like work sometimes to think of things to talk about and to have simpler conversations, especially when there aren't a lot of outside things going on or we're just hanging out at home.

I kind of wish this problem all happened fast and because of one major incident but it feels like we've slowly drifted over the past few months to feeling like roommates that don't talk much. I think if we were able to communicate about how we're feeling a little better, that would help. I've read that sometimes these apps can guide you through talking about things and that's really what I'm looking for but I just hate when I see one that says free and then right after you download it and are excited, you have to pay to do anything.

Has anyone had any success using these? We don't really want to do therapy and I haven't even brought any of this up to him yet.


6 comments

  1. Do you guys share an interest?

    Can you teach him about one of yours? And vice versa?

    Are you having problems communicating needs? Or just relating to each other?

  2. Hot take: if you live together, there is no need to always fill the silence/be involved in eachother’s space. It is important still PLAN to do things together, whether thats a date out or an activity at home, but I think a key to transitioning to longer-term domestic life is realizing its okay to just let eachother live your lives seprately sometimes.

  3. Lovetrack is free (actually free) and has daily questions and question packs on specific topics you might like. It also has a date night planner and anniversary reminders which don’t really help with communication, but can help with roommate mode.

    I’d ask why you haven’t said anything yet but you could just point at this post lol

  4. The Gottmans have a free app, can’t remember what it is called, Love deck, maybe? But to is just different decks of questions you can ask to dive deeper. My now ex refused to do things like that with me, hence the ex. I need emotional connection

  5. I might get downvoted for this, but try ChatGPT

    You have to explicitly write what you’re looking to get out of it, and what you want the outcome to be.

    It’s not therapy, and you shouldn’t use it to prove/disprove your disagreements. But I find it really good for letting you think about things in a different way. You can do a lot without paying money

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