Good evening and merry christmas folks
So i’m in a bit of a pickle. Me, a freshly 20yo M and my 21yo gf met 1.5yrs ago, dating a year, living together 7 months.
We moved in together quite quickly, unplanned due to her living situation falling apart at the last minute. We both moved cities, about 5 hours, for different job opportunities, and have been living together since july. fast forward to now, i got laid off (home renovation sales), and she burnt out and was medically not cleared to work due to extreme working conditions and her existing mental health. I also left home due to coming from a very religious/strict household. None of my family know i have a girlfriend that i live with before marriage, otherwise i would for sure be shunned. She has no family in the area, nor do i who would help us.
I left home with some savings (~10k) and her with next to nothing after expenses. Now i find myself in the same financial position, and unemployment is nothing spectacular to live on. I’d really like to better myself in some aspect career wise. I come from a sales background, and i found the income unpredictability taxing. My school grades weren’t ever fantastic (B/C+ student), but I’d like to apply myself to possibly engineering or a finance degree to hopefully generate more opportunities. She feels the same way going into medical. However living in a HCOL area means i’d also have to hold down a FT job just to pay rent and basic bills. I believe if i don’t get a degree when im young, it will be a lot harder to go when im older. so i’d like to get it out of the way if thats what im going to do
I’m now torn between two routes.
I can either choose to go back home, live there for at least 2-4 years for a diploma/degree, and then move back in with her after. It’s a 3-4 hour commute each way, so realistically would be limiting to weekends. Also, i have to sneak around my parents still to see her. I’ve brought this up with my GF, and she says she would still continue the relationship hypothetically if that was my decision. She does not want to go back to the town we both met in. I would get free rent and food, and could save everything i earn. Parents would also pay for some/all of my program if i was back there (rich engineer father)
OR
I somehow tough it out here and find a way to make it happen. I could most likely get some assistance from family to help pay for a program, but that does not account for being a full time student and also needing to clear a minimum of $2k/month for bills.
Basically means i’m working every night and weekend. I also need to do some high school upgrading, so it could be a 5yr academic journey if i get do manage to get a bachelor’s
It’s really tough. i’ve been losing sleep for a couple weeks now over this, like i almost wish i hadn’t met her so i wouldn’t be in this predicament i’m at now. She’s everything i could ask for in a woman, modest, loyal, funny, and smart. Half the reason i made the move out here was to be with her. and maybe that was a poor choice, but i love her. We both are very good for each other, have been good living together, and have been chatting lots about long term goals
I’m hoping maybe someone out here has had a similar advice or recommendations. If i don’t get any solid advice, at least writing this down was quite therapeutic