TL;DR: my husband (26m) eats like garbage and already has pre-existing health issues that could get worse with time if he keeps this lifestyle up. I’m trying to be healthy too, and it’s harder when he isn’t willing to do it with me. I cannot afford to buy my own healthy food while funding his unhealthy cravings. I need his support, and he needs to stop this before it permanently damages him.
I (27f) have been married to my husband (26m) for over 5 years. I love him so much, but over the years he has led an extremely unhealthy lifestyle—he’s very sedentary, eats a ton of processed foods (including copious amounts of cheese on just about everything), and now looks like he has a beer belly. He doesn’t drink, but he has finally reached the 200 pound mark being only 5’ 5” tall. On top of this, his family has a risk of heart disease, diabetes, and he is already diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia at such a young age (the latter being unfortunate genetic makeup). I’m so worried for him, and am frustrated I don’t have his physical support in trying to become more healthy.
I’ve had a baby during my life, and have gained 30 lbs over the past three years. I currently sit at 165 pounds at 5’ 2”. I struggle with body image severely and have struggled to become somewhat healthy numerous times while he continues as he is. I want more than anything for him to make changes with me and it’s much harder without him being my health buddy. Granted, he’s not responsible for my health, but I sure need him to do this right along with me. His habits are hurting our wallet, and will hurt him badly too the older he gets. I seriously can’t afford to pay for a healthier lifestyle—my job is meager and nothing else is available in the area. We already moved cross-country and have no extra expenses (even though we’ve been poor our entire married life). And the little money we have for food is wasted on his addiction to tater tots & copious amounts of soda (sugar free cuz he thinks that will actually help his weight long term). He literally drinks about four a day. And anytime I bring it up, he keeps saying he’s “trying” to be better, thus extinguishing any argument I have—cuz if I say he’s not trying hard enough then I look like an a-hole. I also was newly diagnosed with chronic ibs-d, and I quite literally cannot keep up with his car-battery acid stomach. It hurts me so badly and I feel like he doesn’t care how bad it really is.
I’m also getting to the point where his weight gain is turning me off sexually. Yes, I know that sounds shallow, but his double chin and super gut aren’t attractive. I can handle a little weight, but this is too much. He can’t even lift me up in a romantic way because his muscles are so weak. I’m worried he will die young and I’ll be left alone someday much earlier than I would like. I really just have to get this off my chest, because I feel so stuck. I want to become healthier myself, but his unchanging habits are a huge hinderance in the change I want for my household and family overall. Plus with the way he’s going, his arthritis will get worse.
Am I crazy Reddit?? Or am I just complaining?