I’m (25M) and my partner (23F) and I had our first child about a year ago.
The entire pregnancy and birth experience was honestly incredible. Finding out we had no known genetic health risks, watching my partner’s body change, being present for the birth, and then seeing our son afterward—it all deeply affected me in a way I didn’t expect. He’s healthy, happy, and objectively a very cute baby, and I feel a huge sense of pride knowing I helped create him.
Here’s where things get complicated.
Since then, I’ve developed very strong sexual urges centered around reproduction and creating life. It’s not just a passing thought—it’s become a consistent fantasy and part of how I experience desire. The idea of choosing a partner based on compatibility (intellect, personality, health, attraction) and creating a child together is what turns me on. During sex, verbalizing things like worth, compatibility, and permanence is what actually helps me climax.
These urges haven’t faded with time. If anything, watching my son grow, develop, and receive praise from others reinforces them. It makes me feel like I need to create more life, not just want to.
I’m not acting on this outside my relationship, and I’m not confused about consent or boundaries. What I am unsure about is why this is so intense and how to mentally integrate it in a healthy way. I don’t know if it’s evolutionary wiring, becoming a father, or the fact that I’m the only one in my family line who will pass on our genetics.
I’m not ashamed, but I am trying to understand it instead of letting it run unchecked.
Has anyone else experienced a strong shift in sexuality after becoming a parent, especially something this primal? How do you process it without letting it dominate your identity or relationship?